It doesn’t matter which you choose the result is the same

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What came first: the chicken or the egg? We all too familiar with this question, or rather paradox. It can leave you in a doozy thinking about it, kind of like running in circles — with no beginning, no end, and nowhere closer to the answer.

In the context of writing on Medium, it starts with the question, What comes first, the article or the publication? No paradox here, whichever, comes first, they can both lead to the same point.

Your Reason for Writing on Medium

Writers on Medium hardly write on this platform for the fun of it. Every writer has a final destination and…


Box or no box, expand their creative thinking ability

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You’ve heard of common sense and how it’s not so common. But even if you had some, common sense can only take you so far. Lateral thinking, on the other hand, can take you further.

So what’s all the fuss around thinking outside the box? And what does that even mean to a kid?

In simple terms, lateral thinking is finding a solution by abandoning conventional approaches. It is looking at the obvious or default answer first and throwing that out the window. Not everything we see is clear-cut, and so we have to dig deeper.

If we as adults…


There is always a first time for everything. Here’s why it helps to be realistic.

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Imagine you are in a dark place.

There are several ways to think about what is happening to you.

  1. You are six feet under, buried or…
  2. You are in the ground, planted.

Which would you choose? Your answer can say a lot about your perception. Either you have an optimistic view, a pessimistic view, or a realistic view.

We like to think being optimistic makes us immune to misfortune. It seems we have an innate knowledge that something unforeseen can’t happen to us if we take all the necessary precautions or pray that it won’t happen.

How Optimism Tests You

When my son was…


After 10 years there’s no going back

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I didn’t leave because the grass was greener; I left because I wanted to experience a different shade of green.

Ten years ago, when I moved from South Africa to Canada, I wanted my friends and family to follow. I was not the first from my circle of friends and family to leave S.A, but the most recent, to immigrate. I heard it all, from comments such as:

“It’s so cold in Canada!”

“What will you do there?”

“I don’t think I can leave my family,” with such casualty that it made me feel like I was abandoning mine.

On…


2 books that unlock the key to long-lasting marriages

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How is married life?

A question posed to a friend from an acquaintance of hers. It left her stunned and speechless. Even after being married for 20 years, she wasn’t sure how to answer.

In her situation, I’d be at a loss for words too. Do you find yourself being honest about your state of marriage when asked? For many years I refused to face the truth about my marriage. Then I found myself at the edge of a cliff.

Do I back up and pretend everything is okay, or do I jump and face reality?

Every marital journey carries…


The coincidence of events that appear meaningfully related but do not seem to be causally connected have more of an impact than you think

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I’ve had my share of coincidences, meaningful coincidences, and everything between. They were unseen messages from the universe, residing in daily life, incognito.

I’ve often wondered how certain people I know are so in tune with their lives. They seem to have everything figured out, even when life throws them a curveball. Did synchronicity have anything to do with it? I was so busy living life yet not participating.

“We do not create our destiny; we participate in its unfolding. Synchronicity works as a catalyst toward the working out of that destiny.” — David Richo

After a solo trip and…


The lessons I learned when I quit buying from Amazon

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At the beginning of 2020, before the pandemic hit, I woke up one morning and decided to remove Amazon from my life. Yes, it dominated online shopping with a market share of 38%. Hands down, after tasting the Kool-aid, it was going to be hard but not impossible to cut ties with them.

I. Did.

Ever since Amazon Prime became a popular online shopping tactic, I’ve noticed the increased amount of Amazon boxes at the doorstep of many houses, my neighbors, mine included. …


But don’t assume the pandemic was the same for me as it was for you

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Lurking in the darkness and sometimes brought to life, we know of the inequalities in the world: the struggle with mental health, the need to address climate change, the lack of education for girls. The pandemic was the most recent of events to bring that to the forefront again.

We tend to live life in our bubbles, going about life minding our business. But life has other plans for us when we least expect it, throwing a spanner in the works.

How else will we take our eyes off the prize and truly see what is in front of us?

What is normal?


Success is not a final destination, nor is it a single definition

Woman sitting with eyes closed
Woman sitting with eyes closed
Photo by Hisu lee on Unsplash

Are you worried that you won’t reach a successful point in your life? Do you find yourself reading articles with headlines such as these luring you into their definitions and strategies for acquiring success?

  • 4 easy ways to increase your success
  • Successful people tell themselves these 5 things
  • Here’s the formula for success
  • What is success and how to achieve it?

One thing I’ve learned: success is not a final destination. It has no endpoint. It is always a work in progress, a continuing goal you strive for every day. …


Even with the key in my hands, I’m an open book for all to read

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On the internet today, I’m sure somebody already knows my age, gender, the neighborhood I live in, what type of car I like to drive, what websites I like to search, what I buy online, and how long I spend on the internet. All this information is consolidated, and a profile is created.

I’ve been successfully mined.

It all began with communication in mind

Looking back to the birth of social media in the early 2000s, there was a great deal of excitement and interest in the explosion of online communication.

Social media platforms emerged which revolutionized the way we communicate. By initially sharing messages, photos, etc…

Chetna Jai

My external words are the inner me. I value freedom, travel and change. Still contemplating the philosophy of life.

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